The Power Rangers series and all associated characters, settings, and events are property of Disney Entertainment. They are used here without permission. All stories on this site are not for sale and not intended for profit.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money ...

Note: My fellow PR author (and a bloody brilliant one she is, too!) Cy Panache asked me whether I'd be interested in participating in this ... challenge/exercise/whatever, describing five or so things a character would/did/wouldn't/didn't do. My first reaction? Definitely along the lines of "no, thanks." After all, I need a new story about as much as a root canal – actually, I just might need that – but before I could say "No way, Josι!", I got bitten by a very insistent plot bunny that would not leave. Grrr. So here I am ... writing yet another themed story about my favorite Ranger. Enjoy, I hope, and please pass by the feedback box on your way out?

While this is generally PG-13, the last section veers close to an R for sexuality.

One: The Kiss That Shouldn't Have Been

She kissed him – deeply, insistently, with a passion and a hunger that was unlike any Jason had ever experienced. He certainly hadn't seen it coming; one moment, he was being pushed down a dark, dingy passage by strange creatures that looked like some bizarre crossbreed of robots and fish; the next she appeared, seemingly from out of nowhere. The first thing he noticed about her was her undeniable beauty; the next, her aura of evil that surrounded her like an all-pervading scent. She sent her minions scurrying away with a negligent flip of her hand, sauntered up to him and looked him up and down with a look that made his skin crawl and his blood boil. Next, she grabbed the collar of his wetsuit, shoved him effortlessly against the nearest wall and plunged her tongue into his mouth, ignoring his stunned mumbled protest as easily as she fended off his defensive struggles. This kiss surpassed everything he'd ever dreamed of even in his wildest, most secret fantasies, and within mere seconds Jason found himself responding despite himself.

How could one apply the word 'kiss' to what she was doing to him, Jason wondered dazedly as he fought for breath and his sanity. A kiss was supposed to be gentle, caring ... maybe grow into passionate and hungry, under the right circumstances and even then only with a willing partner. It should be an expression of sharing, not the careless, almost brutal rape of one mouth by another! But all that melted like ice under the sun as his senses ignited. He groaned his defeat into her mouth and felt his body come to life.

From that moment, he knew he wanted her.

Wanted her more than he'd ever wanted a woman before. His first crush, his first girlfriend, his first lover ... all paled into insignificance before the passion she stirred in him.

Part of it was because she was a woman, not a girl. Had a ripe, luscious body that she didn't hesitate to display to just this side of decency, and she knew what kind of effect she had on him, too; it showed in the way her blue eyes glittered in the dim light of the corridor and in the way she lasciviously licked her red-painted lips after she released him.

When it was over and Jason was left panting and helplessly aroused, he was unceremoniously shoved into the dank room already occupied by Kimberly. He fended off her concerned questions with a show of near-frantic activity, searching for a way out of their prison while he fought against his body's betrayal. He didn't know what was worse – the almost painful ache throbbing in his groin, or the sick revulsion filling his mind. He thought he could still taste her, feel her tongue wrapping around his as she forced a response from him, and he hated that; hated that she'd gained so much power over him with such a small, seemingly insignificant act of casual intimacy. Mostly, though, he hated himself for feeling anything; he knew that if he lost the battle with his raging hormones, she would devour him ... and one tiny corner of his mind gibbered in abject terror at the thought that in this case, it might just be literally. If he gave in, he'd lose a war he hadn't even known he'd be engaged in.

Still, no matter how long and how often he told himself he mustn't feel this way, he just couldn't control his body. It took every ounce of the willpower and determination that had made him such an excellent Ranger and the leader of the very first team of Zordon's Chosen to hide his reactions from his friend, from the amnesiac Bulk and Skull they found in the cell next to theirs ... and, most importantly, from her.

And yet she knew. He'd seen it in her triumphant smile, had heard it in her laugh as she left ... could feel it in his blood and bones that despite everything, his physical being demanded he go to her and take what she offered. He positively longed to go back, to beg her to let him reach out and draw her against him, crush his mouth once more against those inviting lips and thrust his tongue into the moist heat of hers. He wanted to rip the scanty bodice from her breasts, bury his face between them and let his body win the battle over his mind. If he did, there would be no gentleness, no tender touches, just raw desire and frantic grappling for completion, but for once Jason didn't care. Why not let nature take its course to the ultimate conclusion?

For once, he wanted to surrender.

***

Her agile tongue briefly teased his lips before she thrust past the barrier of his clenched teeth, snaked inside to fill him with her essence. She leisurely explored his mouth in every crevice, tantalizing him with a promise of unspeakable passion and lust. Her body rubbed against him, only two thin layers of fabric separating his skin from hers as he squirmed in her grasp. It was utterly revolting ... and yet strangely seductive, to be so helpless before someone else, someone who was both stronger and more powerful than the strongest Ranger Earth had known so far. Even as he futilely fought the urge to respond, he couldn't help but shiver in near-ecstasy at the thought of what that skilled, moist organ could – and would, if he let her – do to his body.

Shaking off the insidious memory as he explored the walls of their prison, Jason felt betrayed. Betrayed by his body which just would not heed his mind's commands; betrayed by his very manhood that reacted mindlessly, indiscriminately to deliberate stimuli like Pavlov's dog to the bell; betrayed by his friends who hadn't yet come to his rescue ... even though in all fairness he didn't even know if they were aware yet of his current predicament. It didn't matter; the longer he struggled to hold out, the more insistent was the thought that they should know, should lend him their strength when his was in danger of failing. Because fail he would if he didn't manage to escape, and soon.

Underneath the barely-controllable desire, stoked mercilessly by the memory of her smile, of her coy look and throaty laugh as she taunted him, Jason felt sick at the notion that he would give in eventually, would become a slave to a passion that was wrong on so many levels he couldn't even begin to count them. If he did ...

No. He could not – he must not surrender. It went against everything he believed in. His only hope was to flee, no matter where or to what fate, because surely nothing could be worse than becoming her latest conquest, to be sucked dry and discarded as soon as she tired of the game she was playing – as she would tire of him. Resolutely, Jason bent his mind to the task at hand as water began to seep into the small room they were held in.

There! A hatch, or doorway ... barred, but not impossible to open if he used every ounce of strength he had. Jason appreciated, but didn't need Kimberly's encouragement to go for it – the water quickly filling their cell was enough of an incentive. He wasn't going to let his friend and school mates die if he could help it. Briefly, he spared a thought to the fact that escaping like this might well lead to certain death. But death was immeasurably preferable to the fate awaiting him if he accepted the next kiss she'd promised before she locked the door behind him.

Decision made, Jason resolutely ignored his clamoring hormones and succeeded at last in opening a way out. As he took one last, deep breath before the murky water completely flooded the cell and dove under, Kimberly following right behind him, Jason knew that he might well lose his life if he tried to swim from the alien vessel to whatever awaited him at the nearest shore. But the alternative was simply unthinkable.

As he closed his eyes just before he started to swim for freedom, Jason wished he had a better memory to take with him into the darkness of the sea (or death?) than the image burned onto his retinas of blue eyes glittering malevolently behind a golden mask – or the sensation of cruelly-smiling lips descending on his mouth in a sick, twisted travesty of passion that just wouldn't go away.

That kiss should never have happened, no matter how much a part of him craved more.

Because to kiss Divatox again would mean to lose his soul.

The Kiss That Never Was

The French call it 'Le coup de foudre'; Lightning Strike. Jason had never understood exactly why – not until the day he set foot into the Command Center once more and his first curious look-around brought him face to face with the girl/woman he'd dreamed about unknowingly all his life. Only later he realized that he'd been well and truly hit.

***

Five minutes after they met, she kissed him.

"I feel like I already know you," she said softly, blue eyes glowing. "Tommy and Billy have told me so much about you."

Jason felt himself actually blushing.

"Um, all good, I hope," he mumbled.

"Oh yes," she laughed, and kissed him again, her rosy lips brushing his other cheek like butterfly wings. "Welcome!"

He knew he lost his heart just a little at the warm greeting, but there were more urgent things to deal with than deepening his acquaintance with the lovely blonde. In the days that followed, as he got to know her, he would have had to be blind not to see how much she cared about his best friend, so Jason stepped back – both figuratively and literally. He wouldn't risk causing her any pain, and he knew how much Tommy needed someone after Kim sent him that letter. Jason didn't think they were all that well suited to each other, but it wasn't his place to interfere. Maybe he'd have his chance later, when they realized that there had to be someone else out there who'd love them the way they deserved to be loved. In the meantime, it helped that soon after he met another blonde who took his mind off the slender dancer ... even if he unobtrusively went out of his way as much as he could to please her.

***

When Prince Gasket abducted Tommy and brainwashed him, Jason was there for her – giving what support he could even when a part of him wanted nothing more than fold his arms around her and take first place in her affections. But he couldn’t do that – not to her, and not to Tommy. For now, it was enough that she started to think of him as a friend and confidant in his own right, not just a teammate and the best friend of the boy she was in love with. And of course, once the two started dating it was too late for more.

He was there when she gave up her powers; he waved good-bye at the airport when she left for London and contented himself with being a friend. He went on with his life, keeping in touch and keeping his distance, hoping that one day, maybe, he'd have a chance.

***

College came and went; there were letters, pictures and emails, but reunions were few and far between – and never was there a time that seemed right to speak of his hopes and dreams. One day, Tommy drifted out of the picture and Jason was once again called upon to lend his ear and shoulder to Tommy and her. He did it gladly, content in the knowledge that now his chance might come, that maybe now ... but he was busy building a career, she was touring with a ballet company, and yet another opportunity was lost.

There were other women; he was no saint, and he got lonely at times. Waiting wasn't easy when years and distance conspired to keep him from his dream. So he sought company where he could find it, but never was there the instant connection he'd felt on that long-ago day in a secret building high in the mountains. But his heart stayed untouched, for he still remembered that lightning bolt – after all, it hit him anew every time he received a message from her or when she came all-too-briefly into his arms on the rare occasions they did meet.

***

"You may now kiss the bride."

Jason joined the rest of the wedding guests in applauding as the beautiful woman at the altar lifted her glowing face to her brand-new husband. Briefly, his eyes sought out Tommy to see what his best friend was feeling – was he at all sorry that he'd let her slip from his life? Apparently not; his expression was full of delight as his former girlfriend melted against the man she'd chosen.

"They look good together, don't they?" Tommy murmured, watching the couple descend the altar steps.

"Yeah. Brandon's a good guy," Jason replied quietly as he took his place among his friends, smiling like the rest of them even if his heart wasn't in it. And maybe that was the worst of all – that she had chosen a good – the right man. Someone who made her happy, who filled her life with joy and who could give her everything Jason had ever hoped he could.

But he'd missed that boat a long time ago. As he followed the beaming couple out of the church, he cast his mind back over the years he'd known her. Was anyone beside him even aware that today was the tenth anniversary of the day they'd first met – when she'd given him that first kiss? Probably not. It had only been a quick, friendly peck on the cheek, after all. Some would even say it was meaningless, just an affectionate greeting for someone she'd known through tales and stories and was prepared to like for someone else's sake. It didn't matter that for Jason it had become so much more ... a memory to be cherished forever.

*Where did I go wrong? When should I have spoken up, made my move?*

Certainly not when she was so obviously in love with his best friend. Under no circumstances when Tommy was missing and they both were sick with worry. Not when she left for Europe ... and when she finally came back, there had always been something else that killed chance after chance.

***

Jason sighed to himself and pasted a smile on his face as Kat gathered her friends around her for her farewells as she prepared to go on her honeymoon. Her husband looked on indulgently as she kissed one after the other, first Kim, Aisha and Tanya, then the men. She shared a joke with Rocky as he bussed her heartily; Adam blushed, but nonetheless collected his kiss with a shy smile. Tommy hugged her and kissed her hand with a look that spoke volumes, calling to mind what once had been between them without regret or rancor.

At last, Kat stepped up to Jason and gazed deeply into his shadowed eyes.

"Congratulations," he murmured through suddenly stiff lips.

"Thank you," she replied, lifting a slender hand to his face. He captured her wrist and dared to kiss her palm, sensing more than hearing her gasp. His heart lurched painfully.

"Kat ..."

"It's been ten years today, Jason," she interrupted him, whispering so softly that no-one but he could hear. "At the time, I couldn't see ... but there were times, later, when I'd hoped you felt something for me besides friendship ... I was waiting for you, only you never came, and I gave up hope eventually."

*Oh God.*

"And now you've found Brandon."

"Yes."

"You'll be happy with him – won't you?"

"Yes." The soft, accented voice rang with conviction.

"Then I'm happy for you," he said quietly, accepting defeat. If he'd only known ... but he hadn't, or hadn't wanted to know, and would have to live with the consequences. Closing his eyes briefly, he forced another smile and bent forward, touching his lips fleetingly to hers. It was but a pale shadow of the kiss he'd dreamed of, the kiss he'd longed to give her since the day they'd met, but it was all he had a right to now. The lightning struck him one last time, burning his dreams to ashes as he felt the lack of response. With a small, almost imperceptible sigh, he released her and stepped back. "Good-bye, Kat."

"Good-bye, Jason."

With that, she left him to go to the man who had taken the place he now knew could have been his if he hadn't missed his chance – not once, but several times.

As Jason watched her walk away and out of his life for good, a quote he'd stumbled upon in one of his college classes came to his mind, and he had to admit it as truth, however bitter: 'Of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: It might have been!'

The Kiss Everybody Was Waiting For

"You gotta kiss her!"

"Do not."

"Sure you do," Zack declared with conviction. "It's practically the law!"

"Says who?" Jason wanted to know, caught halfway between exasperation and nerves. Really, why was everybody making such a big deal out of this? Just because he was taking Kim to the Junior High Spring Dance didn't mean he had to kiss her, did it?

"Says everybody," his friend grinned. "Come on, Jase – you've been voted best athlete, and Kim's the best cheerleader. You've asked her to go to the Spring Bash with you. That means you gotta do it!"

"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to," Jason said curtly. It wasn't that he objected to kissing the petite brunette on principle; Kim was pretty and he liked her well enough. Just not that way. Only, nobody would believe him – and Kim wasn't helping the situation by putting on that smug little grin every time the topic came up. Sometimes when he saw that, Jason felt like smacking her. And everybody who told him he'd have to kiss her. Unfortunately, that included his friend and his mom.

"You're not chicken, are ya?"

Jason felt himself turn red – both with temper and embarrassment. "I'm not!" he protested hotly. Maybe just a little too hotly, due to the fact that Zack was getting uncomfortably close to the truth. He wasn't really afraid of kissing Kim – or any other girl, for that matter – it was just that he hadn't done it yet.

"Well, don't you wanna kiss her?" Zack needled, his curiosity stirring.

But Jason refused to be baited. "Zack, first of all it's none of your business, and besides, it's Kim's decision, too. She may not want to kiss me. So cut it out already, okay?" he warned in a tone his friend knew only too well. It was one Jason usually reserved for Bulk and Skull when they were being especially obnoxious, and Zack realized he better back down, or else. Jason's temper, once riled, wasn't something he wanted focused on him.

"Okay, okay," he said, but couldn't help a small smirk. He'd noticed Kimberly's mysterious little grins and had seen her scope Jason out when she was sure he wasn't looking. Also, she'd giggled with Trini more than once behind Jason's back. He was gonna have fun watching those two come Friday night!

***

"Just remember to be a gentleman with Kimberly," Helen Scott admonished her son as she needlessly straightened his tie. Jason looked so handsome in his Sunday clothes – almost grown up, even if he was only fourteen! She felt her eyes grow a little misty at the thought of her baby boy being already old enough to take a girl to a school dance. "And if you want to kiss her good-night, be nice if she says no." Not that Kim would; what girl could not want to be kissed by her son?

"Mom!" Jason was mortified. It was bad enough that everybody at school seemed to expect him to kiss Kim; to have his mother trying to give him advice was ... was ... He shook his head helplessly. "I'm not gonna kiss her!"

Mrs. Scott only smiled in a way that always managed to make Jason feel like a five-year-old – the one that seemed to say 'I know something you don't, and you'll be grateful I told you so'. He hated it. As he did his mother's parting remark. "If you say so, dear."

Fuming inwardly, he climbed into the family car. Thankfully, his dad didn't say anything, but Jason thought he could see him grinning as he waited in the Harts' driveway while Jason rang the doorbell to run the gamut of knowing looks, covert smiles and sullen glares from Kim's parents and older brother. It was almost enough to make him turn on his heel and go practice karate in the park instead. But he knew it'd be the height of bad manners, he couldn't disappoint his friend and what was more, it would prove that he was chicken. Jason wouldn't give anyone the satisfaction to crow 'I knew it!' over him and thus was well and truly trapped.

***

Despite his fears, the Spring Bash turned out to be fun; Kimberly looked very pretty in her lacy pink dress, earning Jason envious glances from most other boys. It did wonders to dispel his feeling of self-consciousness, so Jason soon began to relax and enjoy the evening. Even the dancing was kind of okay. In between, the two shared a table with Billy and Trini; Zack was supposed to be with them as well, but he loved to dance, and thus was very popular with all the girls whose dates couldn't be bothered.

However, things took a turn for the worse when Jason had to visit the rest room. Half the football team was hanging out in the hallway, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to pass them without getting unasked-for comments and 'advice'. Sighing, he schooled his face into impassivity, silently thanking his sensei for teaching him how to do that, and marched resolutely towards his goal. He managed to take care of business without problem, but as he got out again he was accosted by the quarterback.

"Hey, Jase, are you gonna kiss Kim tonight?"

"None of your business, Mike."

He meant it, too. Even if he had kissed Kimberly during a slow dance – *which I haven't* – or if he planned to on their way home – *which I don't!* – the football team was pretty much the last bunch of people he'd tell. He'd seen too often how a kiss was exaggerated into something much more serious in the locker room. He liked most of his teammates, but among them were some of the biggest gossips at Angel Grove Junior High, and whatever he might or might not want to do, Kim was his friend. He couldn't ruin her reputation, no matter how much his own would be enhanced. Actually, he didn't want the guys talking about them together, period.

"Aw, come on!"

Some of the other jocks chimed in. "Yeah, tell us!"

"I bet the chick's just waiting for you to make a move on her!"

"Yeah, Veronica said that the cheerleaders always get kissed after a dance!"

"Uh huh. And Kim's a cheerleader, so ..."

The quarterback nudged one of his cronies. "Maybe he's already kissed her and just isn't telling," he snickered.

"Shut up, Mike," Jason growled, hoping that his blush wasn't visible. "Even if I had, what makes you think I'd tell you?" Under his breath, he added "Or any of you bunch of jerks."

"Maybe he hasn't because he's too scared," Jake, a runningback, drawled.

Jason barely kept himself from flinching. How could they know?!? It was one thing to have Zack tease him about being chicken; quite another to let the team think he didn't have the guts to kiss a girl. He had his own reputation to consider, after all. He thought quickly. What was it his uncle had said once – that sometimes, attack was the best defense? Well, he could certainly do that. After all, the guys all knew how tough he was. "Ever heard of being a gentleman, guys? I'm not gonna drag any girl's name in the locker room, ever, so as I said, it's none of your beeswax. Let it go, guys. I'm not telling either way, and if I catch any one of you spreading tales ..." He subtly altered his stance, dark eyes flashing.

"Uh-oh, he's getting his Bruce Lee look again," one of the linebackers murmured. He knew that Jason was a Black Belt in karate, and that there were certain things you teased Jason Scott about at your own peril. Clearly, this was one of them. "Simmer down, okay?"

"If you keep your friggin' mouths shut about Kim and me." Jason didn't yet relax his tensed muscles and alert posture. "Not that there is a 'Kim and me'," he added for good measure.

"Spoilsport," Mike muttered, but backed down. He, too, was aware of what Jason could do if you riled him enough. Thankfully, the rest of the team followed his lead. Ignoring the mixture of sullen glares and sneers, Jason nodded once and left, rejoining his friends in the festively-decorated gym.

***

"The gym looked great tonight, didn't it?"

"Uh huh."

"Wasn't the DJ fantastic?"

"Yeah."

"Everybody dressed up, like, really nice, too, don't you think?"

"Mm-hm."

"Did you have fun dancing with me?"

"Huh."

"Will you kiss me?"

"Yep ... uh, what?!?"

That last question, asked just as cheerfully by Kimberly as her earlier, chirpy ones finally managed to yank Jason out of his thoughts – mostly because it summarized exactly what had him so distracted on the way to Kim's house. He stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk and stared down at his petite friend. Kim stared right back at him, her face a study in innocence. However, a closer look revealed that her brown eyes were full of mischief.

"Uh, what did you just say?" he asked warily, hoping that his ears had played a trick on him. Kim couldn't have said what he thought she had, could she?

She shook her head, her expression shifting right into exasperation. "Jase, you haven't heard a word I said since we left the gym, have you?"

Jason felt himself blush. He was tempted to deny it, but honesty made him nod after only a moment's hesitation.

"No, I haven't. Sorry, Kim – I was distracted." No way was he going to tell her what had him so preoccupied all evening despite his best efforts not to think about it! Namely, to kiss or not to kiss her. Jason thought he might, but what if it was only because of everybody pressuring him? If he could only be sure that if he did, it was because he wanted to!

"By what?" she wanted to know.

"Nothing," he mumbled, shuffling his feet and looking anywhere but at Kim. As he might have expected, though, Kim wasn't buying it.

"You've been thinking about kissing me, haven't you." It was a statement, not a question, and Jason felt like an idiot about being found out. He was tempted to lie, but couldn't bring himself to do so. Drawing a deep breath, he nodded at last.

"Well ... yeah, kinda," he murmured, face flaming. He could see that they were only a block from the Harts' residence and for a few seconds he hoped that being so close to home would hold her back, but no such luck. Instead, he saw a smile spread slowly across the girl's face as she skipped right in front of him.

"Why don't you, then?" she asked brightly. "I won't mind."

"What, just like that?" Jason blurted, slightly shocked.

"Why not? I like you, you're a really nice guy ... and cute, too," she added brightly. When Jason continued to just stare at her, though, Kimberly's smile faltered. "D-don't you want to kiss me?" she asked at last, her voice growing very small.

"I ... I guess," Jason stammered, feeling suddenly panicked. His mind was whirling; part of him did want to kiss Kim, if only to get it over with – and he couldn't decide whether 'it' was the kissing itself, or kissing his friend in particular. Another part was yelling at him to run, NOW!, but there was also something within Jason that recognized a challenge. He'd never run from a challenge in his life, and he wasn't about to start today. He drew a shuddering breath and squared his shoulders. "Um, yeah, I do," he committed himself.

"Cool!" Kimberly breathed, and stepped close to him, her pretty face lifting expectantly. Jason barely managed not to step back.

"Er, here? Right now?"

"Sure; what's wrong with here and now?" Kim queried with a matter-of-factness that seemed rather out of place and yet oddly appropriate. Quickly, Jason looked around. They were standing next to a large azalea bush bordering a stretch of lawn; the street was quiet with the lull of early evening, and the nearest street light was several yards distant in both directions. The only way someone could observe them was if a car passed by or someone happened to come out the door of one of the houses across the street. They couldn't have picked a better spot if they'd planned it.

"Nothing," Jason admitted, knowing he'd reached the point of no return. Either he kissed her now, or he didn't – and he had a suspicion Kim wouldn't forgive him for a very long time, if ever, if he refused. "Okay then."

Hesitantly, he reached out and drew Kimberly into his arms. Butterflies were dancing madly in his stomach as she snuggled against him, her tiny frame a pleasant contrast against his own sturdiness. Her eyes closed, and Jason bent towards her. Her lips were incredibly soft against his own, and when they opened slightly beneath the pressure of his mouth, the invitation was unmistakable. Instinct took over where experience failed, and Jason shared his first kiss with Kimberly.

It didn't last very long, and yet it seemed like a small eternity to Jason. Mostly because he couldn't fully concentrate on what he was doing ... and what he was feeling. He'd always looked at Kimberly as the little sister he never had, so to be kissing her was definitely weird. And when his body began to stir ...

*Eww. Gross!* He immediately clamped down on that feeling.

When it was over, Kim's beaming smile told him that he'd done the right thing, and as the whole thing hadn't been overly awkward and actually rather pleasant, Jason smiled right back at her, feeling pleased with himself. Strangely, though, he felt no urge to do it again.

"Thanks, Jase," she said politely after a moment's pause. "That just made tonight, like, really perfect!" It didn't look as if she wanted another kiss, which was kind of a relief.

"Welcome," he murmured somewhat bemusedly. Was it his imagination, or did Kim sound almost disappointed? "I liked it, too."

"Cool. You can take me home now," she said, once again matter-of-factly. It was as if she'd just ticked off another item on her to-do list for the evening, Jason thought as they resumed walking. *It was like – get date, dress up, dance, go home, get kiss, done. I wonder – did she plan on all of that with me, or was I just handy?* He decided not to dwell on that. Instead, he duly escorted Kimberly home and delivered her to her doorstep, escaping Mrs. Hart's questions as soon as he decently could.

"I'll see you at school on Monday, Jase!" Kim called after him as he left. Jason waved his assent and went home.

***

As first kisses went, it hadn't been bad.

Still, Jason couldn't completely banish a sense of uneasiness as he thought back on the kiss. Something hadn't felt right, and it bothered him enough that he decided to examine his feelings more closely for once by mentally listing the things he'd liked and hadn't liked.

He'd liked having Kim in his arms; hugging her was very different from hugging his mother, or aunts. She was pretty, she smelled nice, she was soft in all the right places, and on the whole ... touching his tongue to hers hadn't been half as gross as it sounded when he'd heard other guys talk about it in the locker room. In fact, it had been nice – even more than nice, because he'd felt ...

That was the part he hadn't liked about kissing Kim. To discover that she could stir feelings in him down there seemed all kinds of wrong. Rationally, Jason knew that it wasn't; they weren't even related, and it was a perfectly normal reaction of a healthy teenaged boy towards a pretty girl. He'd paid attention in health class, and his dad had had some pretty frank talks with him on the subject, too. And yet ...

And yet it had felt wrong ... because he didn't want to feel about Kim that way. Jason was suddenly quite sure that Kim didn't want to feel about him that way, either. If she did, she would've reacted differently afterwards. How, he had no idea, but that hardly mattered; it was enough to know that it would have – should have been different.

"I don't want things to change between us, Kim. Not like that."

Whatever else he and Kim were to each other, they were most definitely not in love. And there wouldn't be a repeat performance. He didn't know if he would have to spell it out to Kim, but if he did, he'd say this:

"We should never have kissed, Kim. We shouldn't have let our friends and families badger us into doing something we're not comfortable with. Just because you're the most popular cheerleader and I'm 'best athlete' doesn't mean we have to be a couple. I like you lots, but we're not in love with each other, and I'd much rather have you as my friend, anyway."

Yes, that felt right. Then and there, Jason made a vow to himself – never again would he kiss someone he didn't love, no matter who or how many people said it was 'the thing to do'.

"From now on – no more pressure!"

The Kiss That Should Have Worked, But Didn't

There she was, kissing another guy.

Across the crowded room Jason watched his girlfriend melt into the embrace, her whole body speaking of a passion and surrender she'd never given to him. Virtually in public, too – not really a blatant display, but still there for everyone to see who cared to look. Who knew that Trini, of all people, would choose to be so open about her feelings at a student social?

He supposed he should feel anger, or resentment at least, but he didn't; if anything, he was happy for her that she'd finally found someone she felt comfortable enough with not to care what anyone thought. With him, kisses had always been shared privately – on walks, in the darkness of a movie theater, late at night in front of his or her dorm room. Never where anyone could see. Not that he'd minded; he wasn't one to make his feelings public at the best of times, and while he'd always envied the easiness a little with which Tommy and Kim showed affection to each other, he knew it wasn't for him.

*Or maybe I just haven't found the girl yet with whom it would feel right.*

Well, Trini wasn't her. It didn't come as a big surprise – they'd sort of drifted into their relationship once they came to the Youth Conference at Geneva. They'd been friends for years, were comfortable with each other, knew about their little quirks and foibles ... once their familiar surroundings were gone, it had seemed natural that they grew closer, beyond friendship. Only, they hadn't, not really; there had always been an unspoken agreement between them that if either well and truly fell in love, they'd part with no regrets or recriminations.

Now that it had happened, though, Jason realized that they had been slightly optimistic. He did regret losing Trini as his companion and confidante; with someone else in the picture now they would inevitably be drifting apart. How could he not regret that?

He glanced once more at Trini and the young man holding her close. Her almond eyes shone even at a distance, and the soft smile around her lips transfixed her face into an expression of dreamy wonder. Jason searched her companion's countenance; he was gratified to see that he seemed equally enraptured by the lithe Asian's beauty.

*Shen Vandermeer. I should've known. Well, at least she chose a good guy.*

They had met the young man in one of the seminars; he was of Chinese-Dutch descent and not a delegate, but a junior assistant to one of the professors. A few years older than Jason and Trini, he embodied the meaning of his given name, which was 'deep thinker'. Perfectly suited to Trini. Jason smiled, shook his head and left before they realized he was watching them.

***

Jason was standing outside, in the walled garden overlooking Lake Geneva, when he became aware of a familiar presence. Slowly he turned towards the door leading into the room where the social was taking place. There, framed by the light coming from the inside, stood Trini. Even at a distance, Jason could read in her eyes that she knew he'd seen her.

He set down the soda bottle he'd been sipping from and gave her a slight smile. She returned it hesitantly as she glided towards him.

"I'm sorry," Trini murmured.

"Don't be," Jason said.

"But I am. I never meant to hurt you."

"You haven't." Strangely enough, Jason reflected, he even meant it. He wasn't hurt that she'd turned to someone else. A little sad and melancholy, yes, as it left him alone – Zack had found his own new circle of friends – but it was more because of the realization that he hadn't been able to let go of the past as easily as his friends had. Trini had been a big part of that past ever since he'd met her in second grade, ten years ago.

"At least you shouldn't have had to find out like this that ..." she faltered.

"That you've found somebody you like better than me?" he completed for her. Despite his best intentions, he found a small measure of satisfaction in the fact that she glanced momentarily away, a guilty blush staining her cheeks.

"Well ... yeah," Trini admitted in a small voice. Regaining her composure after a few seconds, she laid a slender hand on his arm and looked at him beseechingly. "Please, Jason – I need you to understand that it wasn't you; you're a wonderful person, and I care a lot about you. It's just ..."

"It's just that you fell in love with Shen, not with me, huh?"

"Yes," she whispered, hanging her head. Chuckling softly, he lifted her chin.

"Hey, don't sweat it," he soothed. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Uh huh. And for what it's worth, I think you picked a good guy."

"Thank you," Trini said earnestly.

"You're welcome."

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, then Trini sighed and closed the small distance between them. Sliding her arms around Jason's waist, she rested her head on his shoulder in a gesture familiar since they'd started High School, had gotten past the 'girls/boys have cooties' stage together and decided that they could be friends regardless of gender. She felt instantly comforted when Jason easily returned the gesture and enfolded her in a hug. Feeling safe, she ran through a short meditation exercise to calm her nerves, then asked the question that had preyed on her mind ever since she'd realized where her feelings truly lay. "We've been friends for so long, have been through so much together, I really, really like you ... by all rights, you should be the perfect partner for me. Only, you're not. And I have no idea why," she mused. "Why do you think it didn't work for us?"

Jason rubbed his cheek against her sleek black hair, enjoying the smooth texture. "I dunno. Maybe we know each other too well."

"Could be."

He chuckled softly. "Well, whatever it is, I'm glad I had this time with you, even if it didn't work out."

"Me, too," Trini said. "Jason ... I think I'd never have realized what I feel for Shen is so much more if I hadn't dated you. It was wonderful, it was fun, but ... I think in a way it was too safe." She frowned. "I'm not making much sense."

Jason kissed her temple. "Yes, you are. We're both not exactly adrenaline junkies like some other people I could name –"

"—and whose name either starts with Z and ends with -ack, or with T and ends in -ommy, right?" Trini interrupted him, giggling slightly.

Jason gave her a wry look. "Something like that. Anyway, what I was going to say ... we did have our share of excitement, lots of it, and I don't think that any one of us is ever going to be content with just 'fun', or 'safe'. And that includes Billy."

She mulled it over. "You may be right," she said at last. "Even Shen ... at first glance, he isn't very exciting, but considering that I haven't known him as long as I've known you, that he's older, from another country, that my parents have never met him and I got to know him away from high school or even home ... yeah, it's an adventure, alright."

"Then enjoy it as much as you can," Jason said firmly, giving her shoulders a light squeeze.

"I believe I will," Trini replied, her smile regaining its usual brilliance. "Thanks again, Jase."

"You're welcome. As long as I don't lose you as a friend," he murmured. "Can you promise me that much, at least?"

"Of course. You're too much a part of me; I'd never want to lose that."

"Good. Same here."

"I know."

The two looked at each other for several moments, then Jason smiled and drew Trini against him. "One for the road?" he asked softly. Trini smiled back and nodded. He lowered his head then and kissed her, gently and without passion. Her smooth lips met his willingly, but all he could sense and feel was affection and trust – what he'd always felt when they'd kissed.

Even just watching Trini kiss Shen had shown him that it was no longer enough. Not for her ... and not for him. He would just have to keep searching for the girl or woman who could give him the same kind of passion those two seemed to have found. Whether that was here in Geneva, back home in Angel Grove or somewhere else entirely, Jason couldn't say. He just knew that as of tomorrow, he'd start looking.

***

When they parted, Jason looked up and saw Shen stand in the doorway, a wary expression in his eyes. Slowly, the older man approached them. Jason kept his arm around Trini and waited until he was within earshot.

"You know that if you hurt her, I'll have to hurt you," he said conversationally.

Trini gasped and gave him a reproachful look. "Jason! Remember we're Peace Conference delegates!"

Both men ignored her. Jason's face was calm, but implacable, his dark eyes full of warning. Shen's expression never wavered, either.

"Understood," he said quietly. "I'll do my best."

"That's good enough," Jason nodded and took a step away. "Good luck, you two."

Trini was fuming inwardly. Really, did they have to be so macho? And talk over her head as if she wasn't there? She could damn well take care of herself – she needed neither a keeper nor anyone's permission about what to do with her life! But that discussion was best left to another time, she decided at last. If she said something now, she might create exactly the kind of scene she'd hoped to avoid when Jason found out she'd left him for another. So ...

"Thanks," was all she said, and went to her new boyfriend. He slipped an arm around her waist in a faintly possessive gesture that was surprisingly gratifying. *Maybe ... maybe I won't give Jason grief for his big brother routine, after all,*she thought. *W ell ... not much, anyway.*

As she walked away, she turned one last time to look at Jason. He was staring out over the lake again, like he'd done when she'd gone after him to explain. His broad frame was silhouetted against the night sky, but where he'd seemed slightly lost before, he appeared strong and self-sufficient now even though he was more alone than before.

*He'll be okay.* All of a sudden, Trini was certain of that ... and left.

Lost in his thoughts, Jason didn't even notice. He could still feel Trini's lips against his, but the memory was fading fast. He was honestly happy for Trini; she would always be an important part of his past, but she wasn't for him. By all rights, things should've worked between them; they'd tried, but despite their best efforts it hadn't.

*It's over. Done with. Finis.*

Deep down, relief cautiously lifted its head, but Jason wasn't quite ready to acknowledge it; that would have to wait for some other time. Right now, he was more concerned with the immediate future – his future. Which, he was coming to realize, might not lie here in Geneva and at the Youth Peace Summit at all.

*Maybe I ought to go home. Lay the ghosts of my past to rest so that I can start fresh. Maybe once I've done that ... one day I'll find someone whose kiss won't be safe, who'll complete me the way Shen completes Trini.*

Suddenly, Jason knew exactly what had gone wrong, at least for him – and it had certainly affected his relationship with Trini. Lately, his life had mostly been talk, talk; strange, considering that he'd always been more a man of action.

And the action was back in Angel Grove. Home.

Jason drew a deep breath and determinedly squared his shoulders. That's where he would go.

The Kiss That Was A Lie

He should never have kissed her.

Jason absently ran his hand over the smooth back of the girl lying by his side. Emily snuggled against his shoulder and sighed in her sleep, tired from their lovemaking. Not that he hadn't enjoyed kissing her, or wasn't still doing so, but ... the longer he thought about it, the more he grew sure that it had been a mistake. 'It' meaning their whole relationship.

*She deserves better from me.*

Only, he couldn't find it in himself to give more. He shared his time, a lot of his thoughts and lately his body with her, but there remained a core of emptiness within him that neither her smile nor her company could fill.

What was worse, he even had a rather clear idea why he was feeling the way he did.

*Make that not feeling. Anything.*

Carefully, he extracted his arm from under her head and turned on his back, staring at the ceiling of her room. It was bright afternoon outside, but it might as well be the middle of the night; if it were, the darkness outside would at least match the darkness within his heart. As he continued to lie beside her, his thoughts were drifting once more over all the reasons why he shouldn't be here – with her, in her bed, living a lie.

***

Once the Machine Empire was defeated and Jason recovered from the immediate effects of losing the Gold Powers, Emily had been there, sweetly solicitous of his 'illness', so turning to her for comfort seemed the to-do thing, especially as the rest of the gang was busy adjusting to new Powers yet again, a new teammate, a new mentor ... and being with Emily had helped him cope with all he'd lost. The spirited blonde had attracted him from the day they'd met, and now that he no longer had secrets to keep from her Jason thought that he could safely enter a relationship which would've been nigh impossible before.

He'd been wrong.

Being a Ranger set you apart from everyone around you; it sort of came with the territory. Jason had done it himself with the first team, kept others at bay simply because they couldn't understand. What he hadn't expected was that the people who'd been closer than family were doing it to him now – practically from the moment he gave up being a Ranger. Tommy and Kat, bless them, had tried to keep him in the loop as much as possible, but it felt like a token effort. There simply were things he no longer could share with them. He was set apart, and it sucked. Majorly.

Ruefully, Jason acknowledged that they'd done the same to Billy, which probably was the reason why he'd been so eager to leave the planet. Of the others who knew what he was going through, Trini and Zack were still in Europe, Kim had moved to Florida, Aisha was lost in another timeline ... and he could see the same thing happening to Rocky now that he had to leave the team as well. He supposed the two of them could share their misery, but they'd never been particularly close – Jason did think of Rocky as a friend, someone who could be trusted implicitly, but not as someone he wanted to share his innermost feelings with.

Which left him with ... nobody. Except Emily, and that was beginning to feel even more hollow than being alone. The void left by the absence of his friends and the loss of Power simply was too big for her, or anyone who hadn't experienced it themselves, to fill. Deep down he'd known it at the time, gone ahead anyway ... and that was when the lies had started.

He'd hoped to find an open ear with Kimberly when she came home for a short visit right around graduation, but it never happened. Instead, just as he was about to broach the subject on their ill-fated diving excursion, they'd gotten kidnapped and fallen into the hands of Maligore.

***

Jason shuddered despite the afternoon sun warming Emily's room and drew the thin cover over him to ward off the chill; it didn't help, as the cold came from inside of him, not the light breeze wafting through the partially-open window. He still had occasional nightmares about the whole experience. Yes, Tommy and the others had come to their rescue, and thankfully had succeeded; for a while afterwards, it seemed as everything was back to the way it was, but ...

*Who am I kidding? Nothing is ever going to be the way it was.*

***

Falling into that boiling lava pit had ... changed him. He wished he could forget the fire consuming his being, but try as he might, he couldn't. Fighting all that was good – his friends – had been bad enough, could even be forgiven eventually; he knew that Tommy in particular would never hold it against him that he'd been turned evil by forces beyond his control and thus did things he would never have done otherwise. No, it was the emptiness and shadows remaining in his soul even after Lerigot's magic had lifted the malevolent haze from his mind that made Jason almost hate himself.

So he'd turned to Emily, who was unconnected with everything that had happened on Muranthias, hoping that in her unquestioning, innocent acceptance of him he would find the salvation the others' understanding couldn't give him.

It had been a vain hope.

In the aftermath, Jason had been forced to learn things about himself that disgusted him, that made him withdraw from his friends even while he yearned for their company. Emily had been there every step of the way, sympathizing and soothing as he drifted in the inevitable limbo between school and college, and Jason greedily took whatever she offered.

Her presence. Her kisses. Her body.

Nothing helped. Nothing she was giving him managed to fill the gaping hole he could feel growing insidiously within him. It wasn't her fault that she was not enough, that she was not what he needed. Despite realizing that he was dangerously close to using her for his own benefit instead of appreciating her for what she was, Jason found himself incapable of not taking whatever she had to offer.

***

He turned his head to look at her, lying sated at his side, one slender leg tucked between his own. Emily's golden locks were in sexy disarray on the pillow and her rosy lips were invitingly parted as she slept, but the sight failed to move him. By all rights, Jason should feel relaxed and comfortable after some pretty spectacular sex, but he didn't. Not even her satiny skin and full breasts managed to excite him beyond some purely carnal impulses, easily quelled. He sighed.

*Will I ever feel whole, feel normal again?*

Jason didn't know. If he were completely honest, some part of him didn't even much care. He was living blindly, aimlessly as the days passed and he had to watch his friends go on, get summer jobs, prepare for careers while they still saved the world on an almost daily basis.

He wanted what they had, wanted purpose in his life again, craved to be one of us again instead of being an outsider, one of them. Someone who cared, who made a difference. It was like a fire in his blood, that need to belong, and it was made worse by the deep knowledge that it was out of his reach. Permanently.

*Is this how a recovering addict feels? Wanting a drink, a substance, whatever so much it hurts, but knowing that a single sip, puff or swallow will only throw me to the bottom of a pit out of which I can't ever crawl back?*

It seemed all-too likely. Jason scowled. He despised being so dependent on something he couldn't have, didn't really want to feel this way, to give up the last remnants of whatever Zordon had seen in him on that long-ago day, but he also didn't know how to change the situation – to change himself back into the man he used to be.

*Shit. Life sucks.*

***

He was brought out of his dark thoughts by a muted yawn and a sinuous stretch from the girl beside him as Emily woke. She smiled drowsily at him and reached out to run slim fingers through his hair, down his cheek and to his chest, leaving a faint trail of fresh arousal in their wake.

"Hi, handsome," she murmured, moving languidly against his skin. Her innocent delight in the contact was obvious from the way her eyes sparkled and her lips curved in a satisfied smile.

"Hey," Jason smiled back automatically, deciding there and then that he would do the honorable thing and end it – gently and with consideration for Emily's feelings, but as soon as possible. No more exploitation of her affections!

"I think this was the best time we ever had; don't you agree?" she whispered.

Making love to Emily had felt good, Jason had to admit. "Oh yeah." His deep voice was huskier than usual, and her smile widened.

Emily teasingly skimmed her fingertips across his pecs, making him inhale sharply. She did it again, flicking a nail against a brown nipple. Jason shuddered, and inwardly Emily triumphed. "Want to do it again?"

The temptation inherent in the not-quite-so-innocent question was as immediate as almost irresistible. Jason's body quickened, but for once he fought back. If he was serious about not wanting to use her, he ought to try and sort out his own feelings first, not give in blindly to a purely physical instinct to find at least temporary oblivion from the demons plaguing him.

"Maybe later," he said, forcing a smile he didn't feel.

"Why not now?" Emily pouted prettily, peeking at him from under lowered lashes.

"I'm not ready yet," Jason replied lightly, leaning up on one elbow. The movement was supposed to put some distance between them; instead, it only served to give Emily better access to his chest, waist and what was already waiting eagerly – too eagerly – below.

"Are you sure?" she purred with a wicked little grin and shifted on the bed, right into Jason's arms. He found himself mesmerized against his will by her soft curves sliding over his skin. Two rosy-brown spots at the center of that softness hardened into pebbled peaks through the friction, and twin spears of excitement pierced his belly. Jason stifled a gasp.

"Em, don't-" he tried to stop her, to retain control of himself and the situation.

"Don't what?" she interrupted him in a seductive whisper, drawing his head down with surprising strength until their lips brushed against each other. "Don't do this?" She flicked her tongue against his mouth, weakening the wall Jason tried to erect around his selfish need. "Sorry, can't."

He could feel his inner defenses being breached by each tiny little stab of the moist, agile organ and moaned involuntarily.

"Or don't do this?" Emily shifted on the bed, pressing her lower body rhythmically against Jason's hips, trapping his burgeoning erection between them.

"Because ..." *It's not right, not when I can't feel anything but lust for you, when I don't even know myself what I want or what I need* " ... it's too soon," Jason mumbled. In his mind's eye, he could see that imaginary wall begin to crumble, stone by hastily-erected stone.

"Doesn't seem that way to me," she chuckled softly. "I'd say you're enjoying it as much as I do, so why shouldn't I?"

"Emily, please ...!"

"Please what? Do this?" She reached for him, encircling him with knowing fingers, and Jason knew he was defeated. The wall made of good intentions, decency and truth tumbled soundlessly into a shattered heap. He groaned, the sound torn from the depth of his soul, and let his body take over.

Emily laughed triumphantly and surged against her lover, reveling in the feel of the strong hands claiming her. "Then do it – now!" she demanded, her own desire blossoming. She sought Jason's mouth in a fierce kiss.

"Yesss," he hissed sharply when he could speak again, unable to do anything but give in to the need to feel something – even if that 'something' was purely of the flesh. Right now, it was preferable to the emptiness still lurking in the back of his heart, mind and soul. He reached for her, desperate to fill the hollowness eating at him. It even worked for a while; as their bodies prepared to merge, Jason managed to lose himself in sensation. Then, his world collapsed.

"I love you," Emily whispered.

Jason froze. Those were the words he least wanted to hear, the ones he'd feared because they offered him everything – and he had nothing to give back. "Em ..."

She smiled up at him even as she moved to receive him into herself. "It's okay, you don't have to say it."

"I ... I wish I could, but ..." Jason rasped, fighting a losing battle against his now-raging need.

"It doesn't matter. I don't need the words, honest. Just ... kiss me?" And she brushed her lips against his mouth in a silent plea while simultaneously guiding him into the moist haven of her womanhood. It was Jason's undoing.

Groaning in defeat, he surged forward, taking both Emily's mouth and body with a force just short of violence as the promise of at least temporary relief overwhelmed him. He wanted to deny everything, hoped against hope that Emily wouldn't take his silence as tacit agreement, but the light shining from her blue eyes as they found a compatible rhythm told him otherwise.

***

Finally, it was over. Emily curled contentedly in his arms as their bodies cooled, but Jason was bleakly aware that he was well and truly lost. He had exchanged mere sensation for genuine feeling, and he didn't know how to leave the quagmire of non-emotion he was trapped in.

Emily requested another kiss, and Jason obliged unthinkingly, thus giving a silent promise that only he knew was hollow – nothing but a lie. At one time, he had lit the world with his own inner flame – as a Ranger, a Peace Delegate ... as a man. But the fires of Muranthias had at last managed to burn him out. The girl/woman lying beside him would never be the one to rekindle the spark that once was his; all that remained was the empty shell of the man Jason Scott once was.

The End.

(Just in case anyone's curious – chapter four's title was a quote from "You're Welcome" – episode 12, season 5 of "Angel – The Series" (one of the best they had, IMO). And the quote at the end of chapter two is by John Greenleaf Whittier. Just thought I'd say. ?)

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